Author: Gina Seymour

The Soup Group: Experiencing Hygge through a Soup Exchange 

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Not my typical library blog post, but something that helped me get through a rough school year….

hygge (noun): the feeling of coziness and contentment evoked by simple comforts 

Why do I find soup to be the epitome of hygge? Oh, let me count the ways…. 

  1. Nothing beats the feeling of a warm bowl of soup on a winter’s day.  
  1. Soups are traditionally simple. Yet within this simplicity soups are packed with so many healthy nutrients strengthening our bodies and mental wellness, too. 
  1. In preparing soup one must peel and chop vegetables requiring considerable concentration. During this focused time, we get to slow down and clear our minds. 
  1. Aromatherapy. Once all our ingredients are assembled and cooking, the smell of bay leaves, thyme, or peppercorn elicits our human experience, grounding and soothing us. More on aromatherapy click here.  

Through soup we experience all our senses. The aromatic smell. The delicious taste. The feeling of warmth as we cradle our bowl of sustenance. The soups of neutral or vibrant colors show us nature’s bounty. Hearing the slow simmer as our soup boils to perfection is nature’s music. As you can see, I am passionate about soup. 

However, with fewer family members living at home, I cook less. That’s why a group of us at work decided to implement a ‘soup exchange’ for the month of February. It’s kind of like a cookie swap but with soup. Each week I know I will enjoy several varieties of soup. This week was butternut squash, chicken soup with rice, Italian gnocchi soup, and pea soup. Yum. I’m looking forward to next week and subsequent weeks to see what I’ll experience both in giving and receiving.  

I highly recommend finding a few likeminded friends or colleagues to start your own soup exchange.  

Forest Bathing

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Forest Bathing is….

Okay, so this is not my typical topic for a blog post. However, let me explain why I’ve chosen to write about it. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed this school year. It’s not a typical year; it’s a year filled with many changes and stressors. I know it’s the same for my students and I want to help them. But how do I do that when I’m not at optimal mental wellness? It’s difficult to help others when you can just about take care of yourself. So, this year I’ve dedicated myself to finding new ways of boosting social emotional wellness through natural ways. Let’s just say, so far stress eating hasn’t worked out so well 😉

As part of an activity for our Staff Hygge Group, I arranged a certified forest therapy guide to take us out to explore and experience nature. We have off for President’s Week and due to the pandemic few, if any of us are travelling, so this was a perfect week. Though cold with snow and ice on the ground, we managed to set out on a sunny day. First, let me make it clear that COVID precautions were in place. Even though, we spent over two hours outdoors – masks were worn and social distancing (except for a group photo op) was maintained.

Cold, but content

During our time communing with nature, we were ‘invited’ to experience the forest in unique ways. A series of seven invitations encouraged us to examine, smell, see and create. Let me be clear this was not a hike. We covered a mile in two hours. This was a mindful path through nature where we took time to experience nature, not to walk past it to get from point A to point B or to count towards 10,000 steps. This was an opportunity to slow down. To breathe. To see, really see. And, to embrace a mindful experience.

An invitation to create

What are the benefits? Plenty.

Needless to say we are already planning our next forest bathing excursion – a little closer to Spring. The cleansing and healing powers of the forest have revived me. And so, I look forward to continuing to find my home amongst the trees.

May the forest be the place where your heart finds its home. Namaste.

The science behind forest therapy: Science Agrees: Nature is Good for You

Find a certified forest therapy guide through the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy.

For more regarding hygge library programming, read this article: Boost Social-Emotional Health with a Hygge Library Program.

Crafting Your Grief: Holiday Resources

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Last week I facilitated a Crafting your Grief session for the Islip Public Library. I, like most widows, find the holidays a bit of a challenge. During this session I provided the craft supplies and some resources. Today I’d like to share some of those resources to you, my readers.

Journaling

You can never go wrong with journaling. This resource is a 14-Day Holiday Gratitude Journal with prompts for reflections. “Research shows that is does not matter whether or not you talk about the things you are grateful for, but what matters is that you take time to slow down, reflect, and be grateful.

The Rights of a Griever

A favorite poem/prayer:

Books

Crafting Your Grief: Four Candles, a New Tradition

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Tonight begins Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights. There’s beauty and a sense of peace one feels while gazing into the warm glow of firelight. As I write this I reflect on a new family tradition borne out of necessity.

4 votive candles on a festive plate

Two years ago on Thanksgiving, our family started a new holiday tradition – lighting four candles in memory of my husband. It was our first holiday without him and the first time in thirty years we celebrated elsewhere. We were already experiencing changes in our lives and celebrations but I wanted to take back some small sense of control by initiating a new family tradition of our choice.

That’s when the Four Candles tradition began. It’s not easy finding a candle holder with four branches. One, two, and three stems seem most common. I didn’t like any of the commercial candleholders I found. So I decided if you can’t find one you like, make your own!

You will need

  • 4 votive candles
  • Label maker (or decorative markers)
  • 1 5 x 7 piece of stiff cardboard
  • Wrapping paper (could also use aluminum foil)
  • Ribbon or decorative bling, optional
  • Glue gun
  • tape
  • Scissors

Instructions

  • Wrap the cardboard with paper or foil and tape
  • Glue the votive candles to the wrapped board
  • Glue the ribbon and any decorations to the board
  • Using a label maker (or sharpie markers) write out thes four words: grief, love, And attach to the votive holder
  • print out a copy of the Four Candles poem
  • *Do not leave flame unattended

Here’s a few more inspirational poems involving candles. https://www.compassionatefriends.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/WCL-Poem-Ideas.pdf

Alternatives: Use LED battery operated votive candles if you don’t wish an open flame. Upcycled Oui yogurt jars can be used as a candle holder, for a more permanent candle display. Pick and choose colors you like and that have meaning for you and your loved one.

When former family traditions no longer fit, it’s okay to create new ones.

Crafting Your Grief: Red Cardinal Memory Ornament

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When November’s cool temperatures and colorful leaves arrive melancholy sets in. You see November celebrations – my birthday, my late husband’s birthday, our anniversary AND Thanksgiving are all crammed into this month…with Hanukkah and Christmas just around the corner. It can be a lot to handle. In the past two years I have discovered ways to ‘make’ my grief tolerable.

This post will be the first in a series called, Crafting Your Grief, where I will share with you hands on ways to express your grief, create new traditions, or memorialize a loved one.

Red Cardinal Memory Ornament

Supplies Needed:

  • Small plastic terrarium ornament
  • White modeling clay
  • Red cardinal
  • Bottlebrush pine tree
  • Ribbon or twine/Red bow with bell
  • Feather, white or red (optional)

Instructions:

  1. Using your fingers, spread the modeling clay into the bottom of the ornament. Insert tree and cardinal. Push each into the modeling clay and mold the clay around each item. Adding a feather is optional.
  2. Attach the holiday bow and bell onto the the ornament using a glue gun or glue dot. Just a dot of glue on the outside top of the ornament should hold bow/bell in place. Let the bells hang over the ornament for decorative effect and to allow them to chime.
  3. Let the glue and modeling clay dry. Your ornament is ready to hang.
  4. Optional: If you have a Cricut machine, create a name/date sticker to attach to the back of the ornament. Or use a black sharpie, to write name/dates. I left mine blank.

Symbolism

Red Cardinal

Feathers

White feathers are a sign that the angels are with you right now. It signifies comfort, peace, purity, and protection.  What Does a Feather Symbolize?

“Feathers appear when angels are near.”

Bell

Watching It’s a Wonderful Life was an annual family tradition. I had to add a bell to my ornament!

Virtual Parenting

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Virtual Parenting in the Time of COVID-19 

So, I began my Monday not in my school library but at home in front of my computer. Gathering sources, fielding questions, managing our social media presence. It’s going to ‘interesting’ to say the very least. Over the weekend our County Executive ordered Long Island (NY) schools closed beginning Monday, March 16, 2020. Soon NYC schools would shutter, too. New York is currently a hot spot for the novel coronavirus dubbed COVID-19.  

Parents of school age children have been posting all week – memes, anecdotes, suggestions, and more. Unlike other parents, my children are grown and all four have completed their university degrees. I do not have to balance home schooled education and my job. I’m grateful for this and thought, ‘Okay, this should be easy…or smooth…or not too bad. I can handle this.’ Well, I realized very quickly that whether your children are all sheltering with you or without, it’s going to be a challenge. Did my surety tempt the Fates?

Virtual parenting. I’m a virtual parent. I have four children in three different states; one of these states is another hot spot (CA) and at the time on the verge of shutting down. So, on Monday, March 16 I watched my son get married on a Facebook. Speaking with him over the weekend, it was clear the wedding as originally planned for April was no longer an option. There was time for me to fly out to LA and make it to the wedding. I struggled with this decision. I wanted to be there, but what if I brought the virus with me?  So instead, I logged into the Facebook watch group and grabbed some tissues. 

Fortunately, the joy of welcoming a new member to our family outweighed my melancholy of watching remotely. I thought, “I got through today, I can handle anything.” Here’s a recommendation: Don’t tempt the Fates. Tuesday morning my immunocompromised daughter calls to tell me she has been tested for COVID19; she had symptoms, tested negative for flu and is in the high-risk category. Again, I had to parent remotely weighing whether I should bring her home and potentially infect others living in my house. Should I drive into Brooklyn and bring her food even though she had food and I Amazoned other supplies. Each day we spoke, multiple times a day just to be sure she was doing okay. By Saturday we got the confirmation she tested positive. 

One week down… 

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Seymour!

Death and Taxes

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It’s often said the two certainties in life are death and taxes. So, as we approach April 15, Tax Day, I wanted to reflect on death, finances and organization. That’s right, not my usual topic for this blog. As many of you know, my husband passed away this summer. He had suffered a brain bleed and multiple complications starting the summer prior. During this experience I learned (the hard way) how unprepared we were for life’s complications and the inevitable – death and taxes. In the subsequent months, I’ve also learned I’m not alone in this experience. Many of my colleagues were intrigued to hear my responses to their queries and quips. Upon speaking with one colleague, she said she was fine if she needed to speak with the insurance company because she had a health care proxy designating her. Another said it would be fine because she’s a spouse. No, sorry that’s not correct. Sometimes you can get someone to talk to you if you sob and beg, but most of the time not. I needed to fill out a specific health care form (yearly) to have conversations about my husband’s bills (even though I hold the insurance).

I’ve been asked by numerous colleagues and friends to write or present about this topic. I’m flatter, but I am not an expert, nor qualified to impart estate planning advice, so please don’t use this information below as such. This post is not intended as a guide of what to do, but rather a guide to start asking questions. It’s not intended to ‘scare’ you, its goal is to make you think (and potentially act when necessary). I figure if I can make a difference in your life, then that’s all the difference in the world. Because my colleagues and readers, you are the world to me. 

The Will 

“I was planning on doing that this summer…” 

Be that as it may, life may have other plans for you. Get thee to an attorney as soon as possible. In New York, a spouse inherits without a will but there could be glitches so better safe than sorry. Other states may have other rules – so again, consult an attorney. The Will is what most of us focus on as ‘the’ necessary legal document. However, you’ll discover there are several other considerations as we continue with this list. 

Power of Attorney (POA) 

The often overlooked POA is critical when trying to get anything done on behalf of your spouse or loved one. No, the phone company, credit card nor bank does not have to talk to you if you’re not on the account. I didn’t realize how many bills and services were in my husband’s name. I had one person at Verzion help me suspend my husband’s phone line as he wasn’t able to use it and it was one more bill to pay. Other than that, I couldn’t get anything done. Over the course of the year I had to handle my husband’s medical practice, banking, transfer car titles and more. POA gives the receiver as much or as limited ‘power’ as you decide. This should be discussed with an attorney (and possibly a marriage counselor!). POA helps out in times when a person cannot handle their own affairs, as in the case of disability or unconsciousness. 

Who’s your Beneficiary? 

You know those life insurance forms you filled out over a decade ago when you were first hired? Who did you name as beneficiary? Don’t know? Think you know? Well, you should double check. It might be your ex! Start with your employer and/or union provided life insurance plans, then your own purchased plans and update your forms at your financial institution accounts (I.e. Morgan Stanley, e-Trade, etc.). These funds go directly to the named beneficiary, no will necessary. 

He/She died. Now what? 

Aside from curling up in a fetal position and crying, you’ll have plenty of things to do. 

Get a list of what to do when a spouse dies. There are many checklists online – I used a combination of two different ones. You will need all your legal documents, accounts and documents organized. Ask family members or friends to help. It’s too overwhelming to accomplish solo. Prioritize the list and tackle a little bit at a time. 

Practice self-care. You want to focus on your family and tackle items on the never-ending checklist but remember take care of yourself the best you can even though it is probably the hardest task you’ll face. Btw – it’s okay to flip out. Really. A week after my husband death I boarded a plane for Hawaii. I couldn’t stand being in our house, so I decided to visit my newest (one month old) niece on Oahu 12 hours away. Babies have a way of breathing new life in us. 

Oh, and by the way, you know all that stuff I mentioned above? The Will, the POA, your beneficiaries. Rinse and repeat. You’ll have to re-do all of them. 

PS – making a list of every account username and password cannot be stressed enough. Do it now! 

Poetry & Social Justice

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“Out of the quarrel with others we make rhetoric; out of the quarrel with ourselves we make poetry” –W.B. Yeats 

Along with numerous schools throughout the country, next month students at Islip High School will celebrate National Poetry Month. On Friday, April 12 we will use the library all day to highlight and celebrate poems, poets, and poetry. Hands-on activities such as magnetic poetry, Post-A-Poem, Spine Poetry and Blackout Poetry, in addition to poetry recital will round out the gathering. We’ll also have a passive display of novels in verse. 

*Remember these activities listed above can be done in any language.
Give it a try – Pull out your Spanish language books for spine poetry!

One way to make your Poetry celebration unique, is to include poems highlighting social justice.  

Indivisible: Poems for Social Justice (edited by Gail Bush) is an excellent choice. This anthology includes “over 50 works of poetry by 20th century writers on issues related to social justice in American society.” Use with middle school and high school classes. 

Here are some helpful resources related to this title:

Indivisible: Poems for Social Justice Book Group Discussion Guide 

Indivisible: Poems for Social Justice Teacher’s Guide 

Interested in additional books? Take a look at Sylvia Vardell’ “Classroom Connections: Poetry and Social Justice” from Book Links. 
 

Or, try using The Poetry Foundation’s Collection – “Poems of Protest, Resistance, and Empowerment” where students can explore “why poetry is necessary and sought after in moments of political crisis.” 

Make connections through poetry by creating found poems. “In this activity, students analyze and interpret historical, primary source content, then synthesize the information, making personal connections with history as they retell it from their own perspective. The activity provides an opportunity for students to creatively share their historical understanding with an authentic audience. 

While writing original poetry can be daunting to students, this activity uses a “found poetry” strategy. Using rich primary source texts, students select words that allow them to retell the historical content in poetic form.”  

“To create a found poem, students select words, phrases, lines, and sentences from one or more written documents and combine them into a poem. Raw material for found poems can be selected from newspaper articles, speeches, diaries, advertisements, letters, food menus, brochures, short stories, manuscripts of plays, shopping lists, and even other poems.” Additional information can be found in this pdf. This activity is similar to blackout poetry. 

So as you plan your National Poetry Month celebrations and activities, consider including social justice as a theme. 

Upstander

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Collaboration

It started off a few months ago with an English teacher looking for research project ideas for 10th grade students having read Elie Wiesel’s Night and Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. Not sure which title to choose, we sat down to discuss many options during our collaborative sessions. After brainstorming multiple topics, we realized we wanted to focus on the positive, on hope, instead of the negative elements and characters within each title. So, we combined aspects of the two books and decided on the topic of being an upstander in the face of prejudice, even when facing bodily harm or death. This fit the character of Atticus Finch and elements of the holocaust. Both books espouse themes of Good vs Evil, particularly the coexistence of good and evil within a community. Both novels look at racism and prejudice and while it would have been equally relevant to focus on those themes, we decided to use Atticus as an example of upstander while finding about more about upstanders during the holocaust. To examine, perhaps, the inherent goodness or evil in people and standing up even in the face of harm or death. With this theme we could discuss and analyze both books. 

This LibGuide helped guide students to reliable resources.

Student Reaction 

Students had a pre-conceived notion of upstanders during the holocaust. Many were subsequently shocked to hear Oskar Schindler described thusly, “A hedonist and gambler by nature, Schindler soon adopted a profligate lifestyle, carousing into the small hours of the night, hobnobbing with high ranking SS-officers, and philandering with beautiful Polish women” while researching on the Yad Vashem website. We had great conversations. Most of us agreed he was an upstander, but we probably wouldn’t want to be married to him! There’s often a dichotomy to people’s behavior. You don’t have to be perfect or a model citizen. You don’t have to be Mother Teresa to be an upstander. It isn’t all or nothing. You don’t have to help hundreds, for “He who saves a single life, saves the world entire.” Many of our researched upstanders helped one family or one child and that was enough of a difference. I shared a story to our students regarding my father-in-law’s service during the WWII. He was a fighter pilot shot down over occupied France. It was through the efforts of the French Underground who helped him survive and reach allied forces. Their efforts increased his ability to return home to the states where subsequently my husband was born. From their our marriage and four children. This is My world entire and upstanders who risked their lives made it happen. 


“Scholars have attempted to trace the characteristics that these Righteous share and to identify who was more likely to extend help to the Jews or to a persecuted person.” “By comparing and contrasting rescuers and bystanders during the Holocaust, they pointed out that those who intervened were distinguished by characteristics such as empathy and a sense of connection to others.” 


https://www.yadvashem.org/righteous/about-the-righteous.html  

I feel strongly that our students’ coursework and daily school-life need infusions of both empathy and connectedness.

I have been moved by this project, learning alongside students as we discover the hundreds of men and women who risked all to stand up to injustice. I encourage you to examine and explore these websites https://www.yadvashem.org/righteous/stories.html or https://jfr.org/rescuer-stories/  and learn more about righteous upstanders.